Overweighted's Blog

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FOOD PICS FROM VACATION….YUMMY! September 25, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — overweighted @ 11:09 pm
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449

458 MY BIRTHDAY CAKE.

305               306

308 309

312 OH YES I WOULD LOVE LOVE THIS RIGHT NOW.

313 314 513 510 Yes I did take a bite!

515 519

And now friends I am hungry!

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On a happier note August 22, 2010

This is my new baby

Yes that’s right.  Please dont me jealous!  I finally got a new laptop.  My old Dell had been beatin and abused and finally gave up the fight.  So now I have this beauty to spend my time with.  It has lots of new gadgets on it I can spend my time playing with.  I am a proud Mama!

Oh and I have to give props to Mr. Overweighted because without him this would not have been possible.  I look forward to many hours of blogging.

  Yep thats my sugar daddy!

 

Woe is me.

So it has been awhile since my last post.  There are reasons….of course there always are.  I am trying to figure it all out myself.  Seems that my mood and my attitude could use some serious work.  I have been freaking depressed.  Depressed, tired and just feeling old in general.  I feel like something is lacking.  I am just not happy with myself.  It seems that no matter how many pounds I lose or how many goals I reach I am just not satisfied.  I cannot help but to read others blosg and postings and compare my life to theres.  I am not a perky 25 year old that go out and run 15 miles just for fun.  I am also intelligent enough to know that everyone has problems.  It is just hard to remind myself of that.  I have a lot of great things going on in my life, I am soon going on a great trip and have some new exciting challenges at work.  But that is hard to remember sometimes.  I find very difficult still to control my eating and change my habits.  This extreme intensive program has been going on for over a year and I am just simply getting tired. To be honest I feel ugly.  I look at myself and pick my self apart.  Really most days nothing is right.  I can make a full list of all the things about me that I hate.  I see my reflection and only see the frizzy hair, the lines in my forhead, the wrinkles around my eyes.   It doesnt help that I had to take time off….as a matter of fact an entire week off from my workouts and running this week.  I was having some pretty intense pain in my hip so I felt it was best.  I also needed the time off to really think about what I want.  What I REALLY want.  Do I want to continue with what I consider to be extreme running and training.  Do I want to get a handle on my eating and my still bad habits?  Am I prepared to do what it takes no matter what?  Can I mantain the schedue required to do this?  The answer is YES!  Yes I can and I will.  I have made a commitment to run the 1/2 marathon on Sept. 25th and that is what I am going to do.  And I am going to do it well!  I will stick to my training plan without letting up.  Now let me be clear.  That does not mean that I am still not feeling depressed, tired, ugly, and fed up…because I am.  And I am going to try and work on that to.  I am afraid that is going to take a whole lot more than the training for the 1/2 but I want to feel happy.  And this past week without the workouts..I have not felt happy that is for sure.  So I am now on a mission.   And I don’t plan on stopping.  I have come to far to give up on myself.  I am in charge of my own destiny.  I am not prepared to give that up.

How can I give up on this??? 🙂

 

Today I am 40 August 12, 2010

So this is what 40 looks like.

Today is the big fat ugly 4 0 …..I have tried to prepare for this day.  But ugg I never really wanted to see it.  Don’t get me wrong I am glad to be alive, I am happy to be healthy…blah blah blah.  But I still never  wanted the calendar to tell me that I am now FORTY!!!  I celebrated this morning by staying in bed with my head under the covers.  Now I am work…woowoo!  Oh ya big party.  NOT!  I will have to see how the rest of the day works out.

This is how 40 feels (to me)