Today is my 1 year SURGIVERSARY!! One year ago today I made the decision to alter my body and my life forever. One year ago today I put 100% of my faith and hope into the hands of my surgeon to give me a tool that would ultimately help me to create a new life and future for myself. I was given a tool. Nothing more, nothing less. I could then decide how I would use it. Every day is a challenge and every day I try and make the best choices. Sometimes I stumble and fall. But I get right back up and try again. I had run out of hope for myself. I was morbidly obese. I was sick with diabetes. I knew it would ultimately kill me. I chose to change my destiny. I started moving my body. I started believing that I could do it. I would wake up and say to myself I can’t run today. I am to tired. I don’t feel good. It’s to hot or cold out. But then I would start bargaining with myself telling myself that I don’t have to run. I can walk. Just get up and walk. That’s all you have to do. Just walk. And I would find when I did get up and walk. I would start to run. I would think, OK now you are running. If I can’t run all the way, what’s the worst that could happen, maybe I have to walk back home. No biggie. But I didn’t walk back home. I kept running, I pushed myself, I made deals, I thought about rewards, I threatened myself. I screamed at myself “you will never have another Starbucks coffee again if you don’t keep going”. I set up new challenges. I told myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I ran in darkness so no one would see me. I wore my sunglasses so I would not have to make eye contact. I kept my eyes down and stared at the ground. Ten miles of staring at the ground. I felt shame. I felt inadequate. Sometimes I cried. But I kept going. And here I am one year later. I have so much more to do. I am not 100% yet. Maybe I never will be but I will continue to keep moving forward. One foot in front of the other.
Here are some before and afters!
AND LOOK AT ME NOW!